This Active-Duty Army Veteran of 19 Years Was Diagnosed With PTSD & Depression And Discovered A Journey Of Holistic Healing

Shanise Merricks is an active duty service member (38yr old single mom of 3) with 19 years of service, who was recently diagnosed with PTSD & Depression. She was required to undergo intensive outpatient therapy for over a year. While in therapy she discovered the a deeper journey into mindfulness through holistic healing Reiki, and sought certification in order to heal myself. Check out the beautiful interview of Shanise starting her own company - Johari & Lou Artisan Soul Stones - holistic, naturopathic based services, and crystal jewelry pieces that provide natural healing, and energy healing.

You are an active duty service member, how long have you been serving thus far and how has the experience affected your health?

I’ve been serving for approximately 19 years. I joined at the age of 19 and I would say like most young 19 year olds that I had a very strong healthy body. However as we get older and depending on our careers it can take a toll on our physical and mental and I would say I am I’m preserved but I’m definitely not 19 anymore.

You were recently diagnosed with PTSD & Depression? What were your symptoms, what was the process that led you to get help? How did you feel once you were officially diagnosed? (Additionally, you have 3 children, how did that affect this new information?

In 2019 I was medically diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder, and depression. It was a very gradual process, and as I look back some of the signs may have been there for sometime but the symptoms that I experienced that ultimately led me to seeking help was my withdrawal from social activities. My inability to see pleasure in things that would normally excite me. Decreased desires to be social and an increased desire to be alone, even away from my children. Weight gain! Of course as with most depression diagnosis there was sadness some forms of anxiety and irritability… I would definitely say irritability After the formal diagnosed, I honestly felt a sense of relief. Like whoa, this is what’s been going on with me?

When you’re in a mist of a depression and you have never been depressed you don’t always know the signs. I could not understand myself, or understand exactly why I was withdrawn, why I wanted to be alone so the diagnosis helped glue together the puzzle that was scattered.

My depression not only affected me but my ability to be the best parent I could be, the best friend, family member and be the best of my career. I’m a very candid parent, open and honest and so I opened up to my family. I first had a conversation with first my 15-year-old daughter and surprisingly she was very receptive and understanding. I think her generation unfortunately has had to witness how depression has taken it’s toll on people so WE went over the symptoms and compared our lifestyle - me as her mother and in the end she was able to support me better. I broke it down as best as possible to my younger boys who are ages nine and ten.

I found compelled to do this, because even at these tinder ages children are not aware themselves and or can’t articulate how they feel inside. I felt addressing this issue with my son’s allowed them to see that adults, women, especially black women, and moms are vulnerable as well and a super parent has moments.

Share a bit about your journey of intensive outpatient therapy which you had to do over a year ... which led to a deeper journey into mindfulness?

I entered what was called an intensive outpatient partial hospitalization program. I was there every day for eight hours a day and we focused on activities that allowed us to express our inner feelings, either by painting some form of art expression, writing, physical activity to include yoga, and mainly for me the practice of mindfulness. Each day we would meditate for a specific amount of time and it was guided meditation which really opened my mind as to the absolute need for this. We are so busy living our lives and working and raising children and pursuing dreams that we sometimes do not pause to just release, everything - for just a little while. For me mindfulness… opened a whole level of spiritual awareness. Nobody wants to talk about diagnoses and medications and follow but it was my goal to leave holistically without the need for medication. I was led to Reiki and it’s healing modalities and decided to seek certification. That only because it’s such a dope practice, but because I wanted to heal myself.

What did your personal healing process and journey look like? What are some common misconceptions of this journey of "wellness"?

Everyone’s personal healing journey is going to be different because for the simple fact we are all very eclectic in our own being. My personal healing journey forced me to address traumas that I have been ignoring with for over 15 years. I have been sexually assaulted in 2003 while in combat. That was my truth or at least one of my truths. It forced me to be honest with myself. I had to learn to take accountability where it was needed but also remove the burden of someone else’s negligence. The journey was very emotional, and every day I felt I was ripping off a Band-Aid, some days I didn’t understand or could even see where the process was leading me or if healing was actually happening - I was that deep in the mist of processing trauma.

The misconceptions that I witness during my journey into wellness was that I was going to implement these worksheets my therapist gave me and boom all would be well and I’d be my normal self again. Life will go back to normal and I would re-insert myself into my every day routine. But it’s very detailed in depth assignment, for the soul I would say. Wellness has unfortunately become main stream in the context that we go plant-based, eat berries and fruits exercise and all is well. It’s much more deeper. You must be connected mind body and soul and if there is an imbalance in either area you can be humbled by it quickly.

How do you define mindfulness today?

My definition of mindfulness would be to enter a state of the present by acknowledging what is happening right now in this very moment. Releasing any anticipation or fear for tomorrow or an ugly hangover from the past.

Today you're launching small business by the name of Johari & Lou Artisan Soul Stones - Holistic, naturopathic based services, and crystal jewelry pieces that provide natural healing, and energy healing, ect. Explain why this is important for you to provide these products and services?

Today I am actually in the process of launching a small business called Johari & Lou Artisan Soul Stones. While I was in therapy for over a year I scaled back significantly on business endeavors. But it allowed for a rebranding birth to happen simultaneously. Where I create is my place of solace where I am able to connect with myself and do something I love. Mindfulness in its entirety is the foundation for JLASS. Learning to center myself and connect with the earth change my business mission. I became much more interested in helping others learn how to center themselves holistically. Creating holistically and artistically inspired items, it’s honestly a win-win for me I’m able to do something that I absolutely enjoy while still serving and helping someone else .

Where do you see the future of your work? Do you see any future alignment in military service and healing?

My hope for the future is to be able to successfully retire from the military while establishing a brand that offers holistic healing energy service to those who seek alternative ways to heal. Though I haven’t any plans to work for the government, when I retire I do hope to be able to help service members tap into mindfulness as it has open so many spiritual doors for me.