What Is Sustainable Self-Care: Pacing Yourself For The Marathon

Written by: Jasmine Offor-Verville

I was sitting down with two girlfriends over brunch & as we all sipped our hot teas, conversation around self-care & boundaries began to brew. “How do you know when it’s time to let go or hold on?” she asked. I paused & took the moments you take only around people you are unafraid of seeing you deep dive within yourself as you patiently unearth the answers to share. “You already know the answer,” I said, “just by you asking, you know it’s time to let go”.

What a time to be alive in this collective experience we are sharing! To move towards reliability & support from one another while we expand into our individual paths. Now more than ever, we are exposed to an infinite amount of healing modalities meant to flavor the spiritual journey, but are we consuming too much too fast, forgetting that the most sustainable and steady form of self-care is within?

Photo courtesy of Jasmine Offor-Verville

I intentionally began my spiritual journey 6 years ago, but let’s be honest the moment we take our first breath we’ve consented to stepping onto our personal path because spirit is in everything. Many of us move through the first half of our lives in a thick cloud of insecurity & low self-worth, clinging to the first vice that promises release of any kind. Even if we were blessed with supportive family & friends growing up, somewhere there lingers trauma within your timeline always ready to make its presence known to you in one way or another. Can’t pinpoint it? Just ask yourself, “What is the one thing I desire the most & why don’t I have it?” Your answer will lead you down an unsteady & cracked pathway of memories to the very moment you internalized this blockade against your intuition.

Our intuition is rarely seen as a modality of self-care today even though it’s the only way that allows us to remember & foster the sacred understanding of our true being. Because self-care has metamorphosed into a retainer word for any act we mindfully or mindlessly do while tending to our physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health, we have buried its true capacity to guide us towards honoring the wisdom that no one or nothing knows us more profoundly than we know ourselves.

On my journey, I have communed with many forms of healing all encouraging an air of freedom, astrology, reiki, crystal healing, plant medicines, human design, RTT, Psych-K & the list grows on. While I live in gratitude for the privilege to experience the abundance of these modalities, some facilitated generously by close friends, I now realize that there was a part of me that felt an attachment to their promise. A chase for the answer I hoped that these healings could provide, seeking for an end to the pain. While they elevated my experience, I felt something was missing. The ongoing human grasping of having or reaching this next level left me more in a state of lack than abundance.

This is because I wasn’t fully introduced to myself at the core of my being. Before you open yourself up to all that this world has to offer, there is so much we have to uncover within ourselves simply by sitting and being. We are so quick to give our power away and then move from the belief that we are without, but the fastest way to regain this strength is to cease giving it up instead of working to replace it. How well do you know you? Who is sitting at the core of yourself? Do you know that person? Would you be able to pinpoint exactly what you need without another telling you? These are the questions that only you could ever answer & the ease in which to receive these answers are a result of utilizing the most sustainable healing technique we have, our breath. Free & full of life, our breath is so powerful and pure that it renders us to stop running & harness the healer within. Many of us are rushing from various points throughout the day holding our breath, our shoulders at our ears with tight & clenched jaws in a constant state of fight or flight, never really stepping into the eden that is teeming with bliss. A deep and sentient breath is the greatest barometer we have to gauge what we need in that season of life, to gain enough clarity & move towards a channel for deeper awareness & guidance.

Through this conscious practice of breathing, my ears have attuned themselves to not only hearing but listening. The Well Within appeared to me at the end of last year in a dream. I woke up, picked up my phone, eyes half asleep, & began to type words being dictated to me from what seemed like a very familiar voice. This voice sounded just like me but a version of myself that was freed from all form of self-doubt and worry. I knew the rest would unfold, so I intently listened and typed. As my fingers glazed over the screen, finding the letters that so eloquently formed the words appearing before me, I was a bit in awe. “Does this happen to everyone?” I thought. “Yes,'' the voice answered mid sentence. That was the moment I completely understood that these healing modalities that are flowing into our collective are a result of those individuals that are tapping into their own intuition, their own version of The Well Within.

Each human possesses the power to unfold their individual path towards reaching peace, paradise & joy. Many may venture down similar walkways, but no two will ever be the same. You may never feel called to the menu of modalities being offered, or you may be part of the few that have the means to sample them all, either way the key to unlocking this game is to perceive the truth that every single answer lays dormant, ready to be awakened in you, by you.

That morning I realized that our culture of self-care was moving away from the assurance of trusting ourselves & swiftly towards the unsustainability of unconscious consumption. I for one could not continue living with the feeling of constantly chasing this gift I already received at birth. That deep desire, pure yearning to return back to self was one of the reasons I believe The Well Within was shown to me. We have forgotten & left behind the days past when we would venture into the realms of quiet alone to wrestle with our own Divinity. To bravely knock at our inner door & enter to sit with all aspect of self. The shadow self has been demonized and waved away, no longer being appreciated for its deep wisdom & medicine. It wasn’t until I began to constantly sit with myself, transform into my own healer did I begin to manifest & regain clarity faster than I had at any other point in my life. I learned so quickly that the power I & so many of us were so desperately was seeking, we each had in our possession. Today, and all the days, sit down to spend some time with you. Who is it that bears witness to this human experience you are tending to on a daily basis? Your likes & dislikes, where did they arrive from? Your job, purpose, service to this collective is to question everything. Not only within your surrounds but within yourself. The feedback will help you reclaim your power & strengthen your journey, rendering it a practice that you tend to time & time again.

As we tap into inner knowing, a type of comfort descends on our lives. An ocean of insight that initiates us, ready to receive the gifts that these diverse healing modalities have to offer. Without this clarity, we will continue to bounce from one healer to the next, clinging for a semblance of self we have had the entire time. Let us step away from artlessly looking to another to save us and into the mysterious void of self. Only then will the benefits of our trusted healers & guides be felt deeply into the core of our being. There is so much to uncover, create & share in each of us & as we move forward towards this New Earth you know is nearing, my deepest desire, prayer & dream is that we attune to what is most important, returning to unconditionally loving self & loving others.

“The looking eyes acquire anything, the seeing eyes uncover everything” - The Well Within

In gratitude & eternal love

Jas